Sunday, November 4, 2012


People often ask how the kids are doing, so it is probably high time for a report.  They are both such intensely private people that I opt not to write about them.  I doubt Tim is reading this blog, but Ani may be.

As different as they are from each other, they share quietness, a sense of logic, and a minimum of emotionalism and drama.  These traits have colored their responses to my cancer.  Tim has Aspergers, for those that don't know.  He is extremely literal, and emotes minimally.  He understands that I and by extension our family has a crappy and challenging year (approximately) to get through.  He informed us early on that breast cancer used to be one of the deadliest diseases for women, but that now most women survive it.  I am loathe to admit, but will, for a laugh, that he cited South Park as the source of this hot gem of information.  He has always been hard to read emotionally, but I think what you see is what you get.  He seems calm about it, and I don't particularly think he is concealing anything.

Ani is a practical girl.  She also the kind of girl that would watch a surgery on youtube that she was about to have.  I know this because she actually did it.  She had a back surgery in March and actually watched one on youtube beforehand.  She is planning to be pre-med, and would never turn away from insertion of a needle, or an injury.  The rest of us find this scary.  Watching her over the last year and a half, I have been amazed at her distinct lack of bitterness about what life throws at her, and at us.  She seems to be addressing my cancer in this same way.  I am pretty sure she has done internet research about my cancer, which is braver than I have been (I confess I have looked up not one single thing, except articles in one cancer magazine and a blog or two).  Like her brother, she is extremely undramatic, and would never be described as wearing her heart on her sleeve.  Years ago when I read the novel "Chocolat" I absorbed the description of the little daughter, "my beautiful stranger" as a pretty apt description of my own little daughter.  Again, as with Tim, I have searched for and worried about all the stuff that might be being repressed or concealed, but each bout of worry has me concluding that what I am seeing is what I am getting.

My teenagers seem to be taking this latest curve ball pretty practically.  They are helpful, they are focusing on school work, which is what I want them to be doing.  Ani is exploring different colleges. Tim is building things in the garage.  Ani usually stops by the chemo room to say hi when I am in there.  She just seems strong, and practical.  I hope I am not completely high to think they are doing ok, but I actually think they are doing ok.  My treatment appears to be working.  The doctors say it is a pretty straightforward path, and that is how the family is operating.

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